On Wednesday morning, (November 28th) my bleeding had become a much darker shade of red and a bit heavier so I let my nurse know. She checked it and decided to let the attending physician know (who happened to also be my own regular OB). Taking great precaution with me, he decided to send me to labor and delivery for constant monitoring. I was able to remain in my own room but they moved all the L&D equipment in there and monitored. Late after the shift change, my perinatologist came on. He did a quick scan and determined I was fine and moved me back with antepardum for twice a day monitoring where I was previously on once a day. He never checked my bleeding but everything else looked great and he said he thought I should make it at least several more weeks. Well, the bleeding continued on being dark and a bit heavy. All my nurses were concerned but nothing ever appeared to be wrong. Then, on Friday morning (November 30th) I awoke and my nurse whom I'd had a week before (so when I was only lightly bleeding) checked it and, being able to compare to what I'd previously had, she was very concerned. The perinatologist was already off for the weekend so she informed the attending physician who once again had me reassigned to L&D for constant monitoring. Everything still looked wonderful except that this time I was starting to have contractions. They were very mild where I could hardly even feel them, but strong enough to register on the monitors. They were only like every hour or so though. Through the night they increased to every 20-30 minutes and by morning they were every 18 minutes. The physician decided to keep me with L&D. Shift change was at 7:30 so before she got off, she did a spectral exam to check my cervix, plug and bleeding. She determined there was, in fact, a lot of fluid in the blood so as the perinatologist had said, it was not quite as much blood as it looked like, however, it was darker red so she sent it to the lab. She also said my cervix was still completely closed but did look like I could possibly be losing my plug.
After shift change, Dr. Adair came on. It was the first time I've ever met her but I loved her!!! She did a brief evaluation and decided she would also keep me with L&D because of my contractions although everything else looked great. She did an exam around 9:00 because she wanted visual confirmation that the cervix was closed so she checked and sure enough, it was totally closed. The contractions were remaining pretty consistent though so she decided that just in case this was progressive labor, Jaxon- being barely 27 weeks- needed all the preparation he could get. She ordered another steroid shot (i had already had 2 the week I was admitted) and 2 different antibiotics. She also started me on a fast so if I had to be rushed in I would be ready. Because of this they put me on an iv to keep me hydrated which they also hoped would help stop contractions. She also ordered a formal ultrasound because the possibilities for the bleeding being the way it was was that (1) the placenta was tearing away which means emergency delivery, (2) infection which means emergency delivery or (3) progressive labor which hopefully would stop somehow. She did a basic ultrasound and did not see anything wrong with the placenta but the formal one would tell for sure.
An hour later I had the steroid shot and all meds in my iv and the ultrasound was being done. An hour after that, Donny arrived and my contractions were at about 12 minutes apart. The doctor came in and said they did not see placental tears or anything else wrong, even my fluids looked great at 4.6cm. Also, ultrasound once again confirmed a closed cervix. With the contractions not stopping, however, she felt it was time to start me on the magnesium. She had put it off earlier hoping that everything would stop but she didn't want to wait any longer. The magnesium helps with neural development for preemies and is the best help they've found to lower risk of cerebral palsy (a risk for extreme premature babies) as well as other brain developments. The bad part about it though is that it makes mom feel like absolute c*#p! :( so, they started my magnesium and...actually, a little after this was when Donny arrived (forgot) and by the time he got there I was already nauseous and in pain. The magnesium is known to stop contractions (not sure if I already said that) so the reason I was on it was for brain development, but the hope was that in the process it might stop the contractions. We waited about 2 hours and the contractions did spread to about 18 minutes apart but they got stronger. Then after a little bit longer they closed back to about 12 minutes but were still getting even stronger so the doctor determined that the mag was not going to stop them so she did another exam and found that i had quickly dilated to 2.5 cm! She then ordered me for an emergency csection. I immediately called to let my mom know and before I was even off the phone with her, 3-4 nurses and an anesthesiologist were rushing around my room in a frenzy getting me all set to go to OR. (luckily my little sister had already stopped by that morning to pack up my room which was LOADED down with all kinds of stuff!) within minutes they were rushing me in to the level 2 OR and getting me prepped for the spinal tap. Donny was waiting just outside the door waiting to be called in. As this was my third csection, I knew the drill. I held my pillow, answered questions, observed the layout of the room and waited for the spinal to be done with. They did it then laid me out on the table. I noticed my legs were not numbing as quickly as they had before but thought maybe I just wasn't remembering correctly. Then the tingling started spreading down my legs and to my toes and the nerves kicked in. I knew I was soon going to see my baby. I was praying that he would cry. I thought of my friend Luisa telling me that her third csection was horrible then I quickly got that thought out of my head. I started trying to remember every detail of my previous ones (which I loved both!) and reassuring myself that I know the drill and I'm good at this! The anesthesiologist poked me in the shoulder with a needle and I flinched. Then he poked me in my right side and I flinched. He said, "you can feel that?" I said "yes. It's just as strong as the shoulder poke" they tilted my body to the right to try to get the meds to run to that side then he poked me on my left shoulder, I flinched, then the left side, I flinched. Same question, same answer. They tilted me slightly upside down. My feet and legs were numbing but nothing above my hips. The anesthesiologist was not happy about it. His assistant suggested we wait 5 minutes but he still didn't like that it had not yet taken effect. He gave it the suggested 5 minutes but the doctors and nurses were all prepped and standing around me ready to work. They weren't arguing but they were insisting (and almost yelling at him) that he needed to hurry because they needed to get my baby out. At this time, tears began spilling down my face bc I realized my worse fear was coming true. They were going to have to put me under and my husband and I would both miss his first cry. In fact, I was afraid he wouldn't cry and I just might miss the unspeakable. A few more pricks confirmed that the meds were not going to work and they told me they were going to have to put me under. They said they would inform my husband but he would not be able to come in. Moments later, tears still silently pouring bc I just wanted to see my husband, they put a different mask on me. They rotated me through 2 different masks (not sure what they were for) and quickly my eyes were closing against my will. I struggled hard to keep them open bc I was still very alert and didn't want them to think they could proceed if my eyes closed. I was very afraid! Suddenly I felt my chest get very heavy and I couldn't breathe. I told the nurse but my words were very slurred. She understood though and was truly angelic as she soothingly rubbed my face with both hands and softly continued saying, "your oxygen is perfect, everything is perfect. We're going to take good care of you, don't worry in not gonna let anything happen. Everything looks great." then suddenly I felt like I had tons of saliva in the back of my throat and I was gonna choke on it so I jerked my head up and tried to shake the mask off. She just continued soothing me and then the anesthesiologist told me to help her hold the mask on so I did as I still continued shaking it off my head and told her I was choking. She assured me I was not and I was doing great. Then I remembered my sister talking about her csection and how she swore she was suffocating but she wasn't so then I tried to convince myself that I really was fine even though it is difficult to convince your mind and body that something contrary to what it is feeling in every way is actually happening. The next thing I know, I was dreaming. The dream I don't exactly remember but I do remember something about a huge list hanging on a wall and I was looking over it. Then I heard that soothing voice say, "destiny. Destiny, wake up. It's time to wake up." I fought it though bc it was apparently a good dream and I wanted to finish it, but then I heard the voice say, "you're baby is here and he is beautiful." as soon as she said that I started shaking my head and trying to open my eyes. I suddenly remembered where I was and what happened. To help myself wake up quicker, I started trying to ask her questions. Words were slurred at first but she understood them all and answered them all. "how is he?" "did he cry?" "is he in the nicu?" "did I need a blood transfusion?" "how did the surgery go?" "are they done with sewing me up?" ........on and on and with each question and each answer I was more awake. Within about ten minutes of first waking me, I was alert and being moved to recovery. I finally got to see Donny who was waiting just outside the door. He had not seen jaxon, only that they quickly wheeled him to nicu. He waited with me in recovery where he answered more questions about how my mom was doing and if his mom was ok. He assured me that they both cried but were both ok. I told him that they said Jaxon cried but he already knew. He told me his weight, 3lb even! MUCH bigger than I'd ever expected. Most 27 weekers are closer to 2 1/2lb. A lot more discussion about what each of us had just experienced and then he went to let everyone in the waiting room know how I was doing. Boy and girl twins were then rolled into recovery across from me with their parents and I thought of how Nicholas and Aubree had come to this exact same room with me when they were born before Nicholas was whisked away to nicu. Aubree made it to my room for all of 5 minutes before they took her. Then, 18 months later belle was in there with me but never had to leave my side. My experience with each child (even each of the twins) was different. One taken before I could see him, one taken shortly after I first held him, another taken after spending some good time with me and the other never taken at all. Wow! How many different ways can this go??? :) so the neonatal doctor came to give us an update. Jaxon was on 25% oxygen which is basically room air and doing wonderful. They had 2 tubes through his belly but I forgot what for and some other stuff I can't remember but was doing amazing! He did have apnea so she was going to give him a medicine to help with that and the meds she would give him also would affect his oxygen so may need to go on cpap if so. The magnesium is what affects the apnea so as the levels come down, hopefully the apnea will start to go away. Well, after recovery they rolled my bed into the nicu where I first laid eyes on him. He's gorgeous! He was enclosed so unfortunately I didn't get to touch him but hopefully soon! Waiting to be able to walk better to visit him again. Made a full round in the halls early this morning but it was very painful. By this evening I should be much better at it. Well, we are so blessed to know and have our little Jaxon Jeremiah! The Lord has been so good to us in everything through this trial. One day this will pass but He will ALWAYS be glorified! Praise Him in everything for He is good! He has held me and Jax in His hands and there is no better more wonderful place to be!
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