Faith- Seeing God's Work, Not Managing It

I have been thinking about some things that different people have said about healing and faith and other things related to faith. I know some people believe that miraculous healings are typically the result of an increase in faith or just directly related to a "large" amount of faith. enough faith to be healed. This is not something I agree with but I know that a lot of people do believe this. I have had friends who had TREMENDOUS amounts of faith that they would be healed and lived their lives serving the Lord, not to say they were perfect, but they were definitely living a repentant lifestyle which is as close to perfect as a person can get, yet they were not healed. Then I have known people who were healed while NOT living for the Lord. This is enough to prove to me that healings are not about a measure of faith. Then we also know the verse about mustard seed faith moving mountains as well, so there is biblical reference indicating that the size or amount of faith is not what allows things to happen miraculously. ---just to note, I am not saying the measure of faith is insignificant, not at ALL! It is very significant and greater measures of faith will take us farther in our walk and strengthen us in the Lord like nothing else. Continue reading and you will see what my point is. Didn't want anyone quitting on me thinking I am devaluing faith here. :) ---

I have heard (particularly recently) different people referring to something they have been praying for (healing, a loved one's salvation, a job, etc) not happening and then either they or a person speaking with them referring to them needing more faith indicating that something wasn't happening becasue they didn't have enough faith. It seems to me that a lot of times people are not understanding the purpose of faith and because of that, their faith is misdirected giving them a blindspot for where the Lord is working. For instance, I have had a painful cyst for a few months. Many people would pray that the cyst be removed and they would be freed from the pain it causes. Had this been my perspective, then I would have begun praying that back in November when it first started causing pain. Then, in March when it became excruciating, I would have assumed I had not been praying with enough faith and then would have done whatever I could to try to have an increase in faith (asking God for it, determining to myself to live in more, etc) and would have blamed myself for not being healed because of my inability to "faith it out" of myself. Now, nearly 7 months later, I would probably be disappointed in myself, and maybe having other surrendered-to-pain thoughts bc I still have it. Instead of that situation, I had a revelation about faith that has shaped my perspective in an entirely different direction.

Faith is not about what I am hoping God will do for me, it is what I KNOW God will do for Himself!

When the cyst became excruciating, it wasn't about having enough faith and praying that the cyst would be gone and I would have no more pain, that's what I wanted, but that's not what was important. It wasn't about the cyst being gone, it's about having faith in God! Not even faith in God that He is going to heal me and remove the pain, (that's putting a stipulation to my faith) but faith in God that He is going to do what is best for Himself, no stipulations! He is going to allow what is going on to work best for HIM! It's not even about what's best for me, only Him. What's best for me is that all that is best for Him is fulfilled! Because I am not my own and I don't belong to myself so even my own healing isn't about me, it's about Him in all aspects, whether it happens or not, whichever comes about is about HIS glory! So when I have this pain, my faith isn't about me praying for it to o away, rather it's about me having faith in God that whether He heals me or not, what's going to happen is going to be what's best for Him and that is what I have to have faith in. That's what is important. ALL parts of faith have to be about God. None of it can be about me or it is misplaced. Even when He does choose to heal me, it's is not for my healing, it is for HIS glory! It is still about Him!

Because of this, I can't say, "yes, I had enough faith and I was healed". Faith is what God gives us to know Him, it is not for our own selfish purposes of being healed or having a good paying job. Faith's purpose is to bring us closer to knowing God. Something the Lord showed me that really just solidified this perspective in my mind is regarding the scripture about faith the size of a mustard seed to move a mountain. He asked me, does your faith move the mountain? No! It is not our faith (small or large) that is capable of moving the mountain. It is God and only God. Then He said, if you do not have faith, does that mean I can NOT move the mountain? No! Not at ALL Lord! God can move the mountain with or without faith! If there were not a single soul in all the history of the world who had even a speck of faith, He could STILL move the mountain! So then I saw in my mind that the mountain is ALREADY being moved! Faith is the eyes to see what is already happening! Not the power behind it. GOD is the power behind what is happening, faith allows me to see what God is ALREADY doing! This is why it only takes mustard seed faith. You can see a lot through a tiny pinprick. I know this from watching the eclipse. We had a piece of paper which we pricked a tiny hole into then held it up to the sun and on the wall we could see the entire sun/moon eclipse displayed! That was like seeing the great and mighty move of God on a mustard seed scale.

(Where the shadow falls across the paper he is holding is a view of the eclips- the crescent shaped light shining through at the top left corner of the shadow)

If faith is the eyes to see what God is already doing, then that means He is doing His work despite what we want or think. If faith is what gives us the eyes to see that work, then that tells me that praying for something to happen and it not happening is totally unrelated to an amount of faith. Perhaps we should stop praying for things that are not happening and start praying for our wants and thoughts to come into alignment with God's. Then we will see that what we should be praying for...and this is what I have been saying but in different (and longer) words but when I say it this way, nobody will be able to argue it---is Your will be done! We already know God is going to do what is best for Himself. ---I don't want that to come across as a selfish thing at all! God is not selfish. He could not be LOVE if He were selfish and He is in EVERY way LOVE! In order to do what is best for us, the best must be done for Him. When all the best works out for God, glory is the result. He must always be filled with glory and all creation will constantly work to bring Him glory bc all of creation was created OUT from inside of Him in a glorious manifestation of His spoken Word! He is so full of goodness and wonderful-ness that when He is filled with glory, it overflows from Him and spills out around Him. Guess who is blessed by that? Those who are closest to Him! When we follow Him and remain at His side, He is constantly overflowing with glory and those who stand with Him are touched by it! This still does not make anything about us, it simply shows how merciful He is to allow us access to Him that as sons and daughters we might share in this! (I wanted to clarify that in case readers who do not know me may think I accuse Him of selfishness! The only Being in all of history with all rights to selfishness is the One and only who casts it so completely aside for those He loves!)---

Anyways, my head gets so full of stuff sometimes I just start typing away and have no clue if it made sense or even conveyed my thoughts accurately. I am actually pretty good with spelling and grammar but my posts show just how crazy my mind gets bc I have yet to type a post that is even close to error free. I hope I explained clearly and that you understand. If not, feel free to message or email me. Bottom line is that faith is not about us, it is about God. He will do His will which may or may not line up with our own. If we cannot see what He is doing, ask for faith. Faith will not make Him do what you want, it will only open your eyes to see what He is already doing. When you see what He is doing, you can better bring your will into alignment with His own! And ALL is for the glory of God! That is kind of a vague bottom line of all the above. Blessings!

I Fink You Lub Me!

My kids are getting so conversational lately. It's a lot of fun bc I can sit and have a long detailed "talk" with them about all kinds of things and just hear them describe the world through their eyes and it is PRECIOUS! They are each starting to develop their own perpectives on life, different from mine and even different from each other.

For instance, Nicholas is very self-focused. He doesn't recognize anything going on around him except what he is doing or what is happening to him and everything is always "someone else's fault". Aubree, on the other hand, is very compassionate and also very aware of moods and people around her. She is the one who wants to make others "feel better". I would have just thought this was a boy vs girls difference but then along comes Annabelle and she is kind of a little of both. She seems much more aware of her environment like Aubree, but she is a lot more self-focused like Nicholas in that she only cares about those things that affect her. Of course, like ALL toddlers, they do all share the perspective that everything is supposed to make THEM happy so when it comes to things like playing and snacks and any other thing they want, it is all about what THEY want and they don't recognize that others have equal desires that conflict with theirs...so they all do still have that in common, even Aubree.

Well, lately Nicholas has started this....thing....where he will try to discreetly negotiate to get what he wants. For example, when he is supposed to be in bed, he will get up and come to us claiming "I have to tell you something!". If we ask what he has to tell us, he stands there trying to think of something to say until he comes up with it. It is always something like, "You're watching your show!" or "Is that a book?" or something like that (yeah, still needs to polish up those negoiation skills) but they are always just somehthing that helps him get that extra 12 seconds of time to be up. We got to where we do't even let him "tell us something" anymore, we tell him to go to bed and he can tell us in the morning. However, since I have been on bedrest the last few days, I have gotten weak and started letting him talk. Last night he came into the living room with that same claim, "I have to tell you something!". When I asked him what he had to tell me, he thought for a long moment then said, "I fink you lub me!" I just smiled at his precious serious expression. Then I pulled him into my lap and asked him why he think I love him and he said, "Because I'm a boy like daddy!" What I heard in that answer was that he thinks I love him because he is like his daddy. I must say, he is very perceptive. That is exactly why I love him! He is 1 part me, 1 part daddy and that, to me, is the BEST mix!! I will confess, he ended up staying up about 2 hours past bedtime after that. I was weak, daddy was out of town, I coldn't help it. :)

Where An Angel Be

[This is actually a segment of a longer story poem I am currently working on- it makes me smile so thought I'd share a small piece of it]

Tinker here, me little fairy, tell me what you see.
Aye, it is, a pair of eyes gazing back at me
With rosy cheeks and puckered lips, from where they came know thee?
And tiny hands, so plump and fine. Do say, how can this be?


A kiss from Heaven fell below. The clouds, they did not see.
And in thine arms the kiss now rests, 'tis where an angel be.

My Summer Angel

My babies are just so inspiring to me! So now, it's Annabelle's turn!

(Annabelle at 1 day old on her way home from the hospital)

 Really though, how can you not be inspired by this little face? Annabelle was born in August making her my summer baby. She's such a sweet little one bubbling over with enthusiasm!

( Annabelle at 6 months)                                                               (Annabelle at 4 months)

Behind this one I wrote for her (Some of my favorite things about my Belle):
-Annabelle LOVES LOVES stuffed animals! She calls them her "babies".
-She does the hand motions to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" but says, "Ginkle Ginkle lala STARRR!"
-When I ask BelleBelle for a kiss, she does a fishy mouth, so I always tell her she's a fishy kisser

(Annabelle's first Easter- 8 months)                    (Annabelle at about 7 or 8 months)

So this was rwitten for My Love, My Belle!



My Summer Angel

I have a summer angel
And she's with me all year long.
She loves her little teddy
And that "Twinkle, Twinkle" song.

I love her fishy kisses
And her pretty eyes of gray.
Her laugh is one I know that I
Could listen to all day!

My delightful little sweetheart
Is a feisty one and, well,
She's my summer angel.
She's my little Annabelle.